Archive for April, 2011

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Sonic Collision 6

April 29, 2011

My apologies for the lack of non-music-related posts this past week (or in general). My excuses are:

  • I’m sick.
  • I’m tired.
  • I’m writing at other places.
  • I’m ____________________. (Commenters’ choice.)

Thanks for bearing with me while I dust off the old brain and set it to “Stun – with inappropriate humor”. In the meantime, enjoy the tunes.

Previous wreckage here:
The Sonic Collision Archives

Go Home Productions – Ray of Gob (Madonna vs. the Sex Pistols).mp3

Go Home Productions – Paperback Believer (the Beatles vs. the Monkees).mp3

First off, here’s a pair of tracks from Go Home Productions, who hs been mashing up tracks since nearly before it was cool. These are both taken from GHP’s greatest “hits” compilation, This Was Pop 2002-2007. Head on over to GHP’s Download page for the full album, along with an assload of other fine bootleg mixes. Or just click on the big link below for the direct download (right-click and “Save Link as…”)

Go Home Productions – This Was Pop 2002-2007

BRAT – Follow Me Down to the Killing Moon (UNKLE vs. Echo & the Bunnymen).mp3

When not running Depeche Mode’s website, BRAT finds time to kick out amazing music combinations. Consider the above: if you’re familiar at all with the Bunnymen’s source material, you’ll know that they wrote about as pristine an alt-pop tune as has ever been written. This is better.

More BRAT mashups.

LeeDM101 – Chain Assault (Depeche Mode vs. Massive Attack vs. John Carpenter).mp3

Speaking of Depeche Mode, here they are again, riding the dub-n-electro thrust of both Massive Attack and John Carpenter’s soundtrack classic, Assault on Precinct 13. Oddly enough, Depeche Mode has never sounded this good.

LeeDM101’s Mashup + Remix blog.

LeedDM101’s Soundcloud page, loaded with downloads.

-CLT

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Heavy Rotation 71

April 24, 2011

The 71st edition of the Heavy Rotation is an unfocused as ever, swerving chaotically from chaos (Arab on Radar) to icy (Gatekeeper) to jangly (Robyn Hitchcock) to dark (Zola Jesus) to icy and spacey (Soft Moon). Small doses, evenly spaced, might be the best course of action. If you’d like a track removed, email me at 2timegrime@gmail.com.

L I N K S

Sweden: home of quality sex changes and the Pirate Party. The latter apparently isn’t enough. Now there’s a semi-official Pirate Religion (Kopimism). Someone familiar scratches the surface of their theology.

Speaking of “pirates,” the RIAA has finally produced a killer chart detailing file sharing’s destruction of their industry. It’s an incredibly stupid chart (sales would grow indefinitely? Albums purchased per capita?) and as such, is mocked relentlessly (“Napster Kills the Kerosene Industry“) by an author whose self-promotion we are tiring of swiftly.

Chess therapy. It’s an actual thing. Here’s an actual case study.

Oh, yeah. Clifton’s back. For now. I’ll try to have him kick out something every couple of weeks or so, but I’ve made promises like this before. Caveat emptor and all that.

More Heavy Rotation here:
The Heavy Rotation Archives

Gatekeeper – Chains.mp3

Here’s another track wot sounds like early Front Line Assembly! You know, from back in the day before they decided, “Hey, that Ministry sound that everyone’s ripping off? Why don’t we rip that off?”

Nope. This isn’t any of that tired bullshit. This is Gatekeeper in full on attack mode, blowing past their electro-altar dedicated to the holy trinity of atmospheric soundtracking (John Carpenter, Giorgio Moroder and Goblin) and straight towards the analog ghost of industrial past, summoning such long-gone (or past their prime) antagonists as Skinny Puppy, Front 242 and the above-mentioned FLA. Dark and convulsive stuff.

Zola Jesus – Night.mp3

Sauntering out of the darkened corners of the underground, Zola Jesus projects doom and gloom like the reanimated corpse of Siouxie Sioux, pitting her distinctive voice against the minor chord undertow.

(Yes, I know Siouxie Sioux is not dead and has, in fact, released albums recently. Stop pointing that out. That means you too, Steve Severin.)

Robyn Hitchcock – Primitive.mp3

Very few songwriters can coin a phrase like Robyn Hitchcock can. Even fewer can weave these phrases into bittersweet songs of devotion. And I don’t think anyone else could get away with inserting the phrase “Google me” into a song like this without sounding jokey or cloying.

But he makes it work. And that’s why his cult-like following is, well, so cult-like. He’s a wickedly incisive absurdist who writes a love song like no one else can. Or probably even should.

Arab on Radar – Number 3.mp3

Sounding more like Public Image Ltd. than PIL did past 1985 or so, Arab on Radar whips up a post-punk racket, utilizing little more than some strafing guitar runs and a concussive breakbeat that sounds about a step or two removed from the Chemical Brothers’ Setting Sun. (Or going way back — the Beatles’ Tomorrow Never Knows.)

There’s angry-sounding raving all over the place, probably attacking the status quo or some such. I can see this doing permanent damage to listeners, especially live and would probably open up a portal to hell if ever remixed properly and aimed at the club crowd.

Soft Moon – Into the Depths.mp3

Soft Moon mine the desolate heart of space rock, channeling the “sinking ship” desperation that lies somewhere between denial and acceptance as the heroes/victims ride out their final moments in a glorified tin can as their space station’s orbit steadily decays.

-CLT

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Sonic Collision 5 – Flying P Edition

April 23, 2011

This week’s version of Sonic Collision takes its cues from my favorite band: the Pixies. Enjoy.

Previous Collisions here:
The Sonic Collision Archives

The Kleptones – MKY Da HVN.mp3

Ingredients:

  • Nas – Hip Hop Is Dead
  • Iron Butterfly – In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida
  • Cream – Sunshine of Your Love
  • Munk – Live fast, die old
  • The Pixies – Monkey Gone to Heaven
  • Rage Against the Machine – Killing in the Name

Download more Kleptones here.

DJ Moule – Hey, C La Vie (Pixies vs. Martin Solveig vs. the Hives vs. Peter, Bjorn & John).mp3

Find more Moule here.

DJ Lobsterdust – Hey, I’m Ready (The Pixies vs. the Young Punx).mp3

More mashed Lobster here.

Phil Retrospector – Monkey Gone to Opera (The Pixies vs. The Young Punx).mp3

Retrospector’s Bootlegs Made 4 Walking blog.

Bonus track (unrelated):

DJ Lobsterdust – Knock Out Eileen (LL Cool J vs.Dexy’s Midnight Runners).mp3

The Young Punx vs. the AudioPorn Allstars Mashup Album available completely free!

Direct download link.

-CLT

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The Fancy Plans Guide to AFI’s Top 100 Films: 71-80

April 22, 2011

Previous randomly-numbered editions here:
The Fancy Plans Guide to AFI’s Top 100 Films Archive

No. Your other "right."

71. Forrest Gump (1994)
Idiots make the best people. Exceedingly long.

Modern scientists are still perplexed at to how the ancient Romans managed to suspend the hyphen in mid-air.

72. Ben-Hur (1959)
Skirt-and-sandle Charlton Heston vehicle (a chariot, more precisely) recounting the story of an enslaved Jew who rises to prominence thanks to a chance run-in with a pre-crucifixion Jesus Christ.

His life inexorably altered, Judah Ben-Hur goes on to have the ever-loving shit whipped out of him for most of the running time, all the while searching for answers to questions like, “What have I done to deserve this?” and “How come I’m enslaved while other Jews like, say, Jesus are walking around all free and being randomly compassionate?”

While the first question would be answered (well, “echoed” actually) 20+ years later by Neil Tennant, the second would remain unanswered and often revised as “Why do bad things happen to good people?” Still, the chariot race is pretty kickass and the film itself is refreshingly free of NRA bumper stickers. Exceedingly long.

Forlorn with Desire... and Motion Sickness.

73. Wuthering Heights (1939)
I have no idea. Something about subletting a rent-controlled apartment? Wackiness/trenchant drama presumably ensues. Shot in black and white, hence its appearance on this list. Often remembered as “If you only see one movie this year, it will probably be Gone With the Wind.”

Charlie Chaplin attempts to cook off his patented "hobo stank."

74. The Gold Rush (1925)
A lighthearted romp through the pre-Great Depression, helmed by (and starring) Charlie Chaplin, whose physical comedic prowess was only equalled by his notorious womanizing* and Hitlerriffic ‘stache.

Full of Chaplin-esque touches, including hats, canes, precocious children and splay-footed walking. Shot in evocative black and white, a bold directorial decision based on available film stock.

*Hence the nickname “The Little Tramp.”

Costner reportedly felt the final poster still needed about "20% more Costner."

75. Dances with Wolves (1990)
Kevin Costner, in the first of many vanity projects, explores the “noble savage” myth over the course of six or seven hours and finds it to be to his liking. Includes all sorts of Oscar bait, including, but not limited to:

  • Sweeping vistas
  • Period costumes
  • Native people
  • Thousands of extras
  • One man’s quest for enlightenment
  • Oversimplification
  • A healthy dose of political correctness
  • Noble savages
  • Interminable running length

Cotten nods in approval as his Boyer-Begman mutant springs to life.

76. Gaslight (1944)
[Note: review TK. Ghost story? Or is it? Gas jokes? Or are was “past” that sort of humor? {Ed.: Probably not, but try not to indulge} Something about a “young Angela Lansbury” aimed at TL. Wikipedia summary with randomly inserted swearing?]

Written and directed by MAD Magazine.

77. American Graffiti (1973)
A nostalgic love letter from George Lucas to a certain place and time: specifically someplace very white during the 1950s. Filled wall-to-wall (Christ, even the tires are white) with fast cars, moderately paced women and a young Harrison Ford (billed as “J. Harrison Christ”).

Takes the viewer back to a simpler time when “cruising” didn’t mean possibly facing arrest or contracting/delivering an STD. Revels in the simple pleasures of small-to-medium town living, in stark contrast to the “small towns are hotbeds of submerged depravity and severed ears” on display in Blue Velvet, which would arrive 13 years later and psychically scar the collective misplaced memories of hundreds of moviegoers, perhaps explaining its glaring omission from this list.

Brain damaged boxer scores a touchdown. Not pictured: out-of-wind caretaker.

78. Rocky (1976)
Populist Stallone vanity project, remaking 1980’s Raging Bull in its star’s own image, that of a well-meaning pugilist who has suffered too many blows to the head. Eliminated in this eerily prescient Raging Bull rewrite are the overtones of misogyny and brutality, replaced with inspiring montages of a rags-to-riches transformation and the worn cliches of redemption and winning the girl back rather than physically and emotionally abusing her.

In some ways much like Hollywood’s adaption of Bret Easton Ellis’ Less Than Zero, into which a sympathetic character was inserted to give the audience someone to root for. (Although in other ways it is very different: for instance, Rocky contains no scenes of someone performing oral sex for coke money.) Exceedingly bicentennial.

Act director: "I honestly can't pick. They're all so good! Just jam them all in there somehow and print!"

79. The Deer Hunter (1978)
Michael Cimino’s searing indictment of both fronts of the Vietnam War, specifically the mind-altering trauma of the horrors of war and the soul-killing so-called “war at home.”

Robert De Niro plays a returning war vet who finds adjustment to everyday civilian life to be troublesome, what with its unfaithful women, judgmental anti-war activists and a distressing lack of suicidal party games. Most of the story is told through a series of flashbacks which help extend the running time past the three-hour mark and right onto AFI’s list.

Falls well short of the accolades garnered by Apocalypse Now which followed a year later, presumably because of Cimino’s failure to cast a bloated, insane Marlon Brando.

Fun fact: Cimino and Coppola had a running bet as to whose ‘Nam flick would have the longer running time. Coppola won this bet, using his success with The Godfather as leverage against the studio, thus securing him all the film stock he wanted. Cimino, on the other hand, lost several hours of raw footage after informing his studio that he would tear them a new moneyhole with his follow-up.

Rebooted in 1993 as "Grumpy Old Men" (originally titled: "Shoot-y Old Men" before drastic rewrite and recasting).

80. The Wild Bunch (1969)
Sam Peckinpah’s genre-altering Western delivered a new brand of cowboy to the multiplex. Gone were the stock characters, dying bloodless, one-hit deaths, replaced by PCP-laced supermen who often shrugged off a half-dozen bullet wounds, “walking it off” in slow motion while engaging entire battalions singlehandedly.

Perhaps inspired by Bonnie & Clyde (1967), The Wild Bunch gave rise to the notion that a person could only be killed while being shot from as many camera angles as possible.

-CLT

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Heavy Rotation 70

April 17, 2011

Back in action after a very brief hiatus, it’s the presumably world famous Heavy Rotation! Starring Indian Jewelry, K-X-P, Mean Wind, 23 Skidoo, and the Death Set. Extra-special appearance by Ninjasonik.  Contains pretty much a little bit of everything, most of it distorted.

LINKS

How to not write a book and still sell the hell out of it.

A brand new, searchable archive of recently declassified FBI files. Tons of stuff, including organized crime, pop culture figures (including John Denver[?]), religious cults and the unexplained phenomena.

Neil Gaiman on why defending free speech means defending the indefensible:

“Freedom to write, freedom to read, freedom to own material that you believe is worth defending means you’re going to have to stand up for stuff you don’t believe is worth defending, even stuff you find actively distasteful, because laws are big blunt instruments that do not differentiate between what you like and what you don’t, because prosecutors are humans and bear grudges and fight for re-election, because one person’s obscenity is another person’s art.

Because if you don’t stand up for the stuff you don’t like, when they come for the stuff you do like, you’ve already lost.”

Previous versions available:
The Heavy Rotation Archives

Indian Jewelry – Cutthroat.mp3

A growly, grungy slab of Helios Creed-esque rock. Distorted and ill-tempered, Indian Jewelry run through the swampier side of space rock and emerge jaded and unamused. It’s the kind of music that leaves you feeling like you might need a shower. But not yet. There’s still some night left…

K-X-P – Pockets.mp3

Space pop, perhaps. (It gets even poppier when Annie sings it. Which she does, believe it or not. But not in this version.) Plays out like “Where Is My Mind?” relocated to waist-high. K-X-P uses his spacier tendencies to bury everything under a glacier-thick layer of fuzzy distortion while he bemoans the loss of… well, something indefinable. You can sing along to it, too which will makes this a weirdly empathetic track about losing your shit.

Mean Wind – Darius Rucker Is Dead.mp3

This some weird hybrid jangle-pop-nu-folk cynical piss take on an alternate future where news of Darius Rucker’s death brings life to a standstill. (Temporarily.) At some point, everyone gets naked and sings the second verse of “Let Her Cry.” The passing of a pseudo-icon will never be the same again. But alas, it is only a dream and we all have to come to terms with the fact that D.R. is now plying his trade as a country singer, leading me to believe this is what he looks like now:

Mean Wind insists this track is a cover of a Chord Progressions song which appeared to him/her/them(?) in a dream.

23 Skidoo – New Testament.mp3

Unbeknownst to anybody (including the band members), 23 Skidoo was constructing the blueprint for witch house/drag with “New Testament,” taken from their 1982 debut, Seven Songs. Minor chords mingle with electronics on their last legs. Every minute of it conveys a sense of doom. (Well, except for the last minute or so when nothing really happens at all.) 23 Skidoo has always been considered “groundbreaking,” but this posthumous attribution shows just how far ahead of the curve they were: 29 years ago they sounded like today.

The Death Set – Negative Thinking About Tight Pants (Ninjasonik Remix).mp3

If you’ve been here before, you know of my love for The Death Set. This track has already been featured in the Heavy Rotation twice, in two different forms: one original and one remix. Here’s another remix, only this one does a bit more with the production. The Death Set brings in Ninjasonik to rap a little something over the beat pertaining to trendiness. It’s nearly twice as fun as the original and gives you plenty of verbal ammo should you choose to diss someone else’s crew.

-CLT

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Sonic Collision 4

April 16, 2011

This week’s episode will head way, way back to 1994 for our first track courtesy of the Evolution Control Committee before heading in a completely different direction to a band that was never really considered part of the bootleg scene until the release of their brilliant mashed-up party album Artificially Sweetened, cranked out specifically for godawesome music/fashion blog, Мишка.

Previous Collisions here:
The Sonic Collision Archives

The Evolution Control Committee – By the Time I Get to Arizona (Whipped Cream Mix).mp3

Public Enemy + Herb Alpert + cassette-quality = groundbreaking!

The ECC

The Death Set – I-10 vs. Terrorist (Japanther vs. DJ Vadim).mp3

DJ Vadim’s original can’t compare to this re-throttling. Say goodbye to blunted beats and hello to charged up, two-man electro-punk via Japanther. Try to make sure this isn’t stuck in your head the next time the TSA’s giving you the eyeball/grope.

“I am the terrorist, terrorist, terrorist, terrorist
T-E-R-R-O-R-IST!”

The Death Set – 52 Girls vs. Shimmy Shimmy Ya (B52’s vs. Ol’ Dirty Bastard).mp3

It’s like a hula hoop full of crack vials! (Scott knows what I’m talking about…)

And one more for the road…

The Death Set – Gut Feeling vs. It’s Just a Ride (Devo vs. Bill Hicks).mp3

Before hearing this, I would have openly mocked any remixer who tried to convince me that mashing Devo with Bill Hicks would ever be a good idea. But this… this works perfectly.

Pick up more info and the full mixtape here:
The Death Set – Artificially Sweetened

Absolutely free. 43 tracks. 45 minutes. Tons of mashups. A few originals. Some classic punk. Baltimore shout-outs.

-CLT

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Unpublished Correspondence V1

April 14, 2011
Let’s face it. My spam blog is dead. I keep the link up under “The Side Projects” as a taunting reminder of all the dreams I’ve killed off with my lack of focus, time or ideas. At least I had the stones to publicly retire Blow by Blow. And Clifton L. Tanager is just kind of twisting in the wind.
(Oh, by the way, I do have something I’m still writing for. Check out “You, Only Awesomer!” I’m doing business as “Thomas Massey.”)
So, rather than just cross-posting or anything productive like that, I’m going to start posting my one-way conversations with my inbox refugees. (I will, of course, be cybersquatting on the tasty penis joke URL.) The spam-crafted pen is unofficially retired. Vive le spam!

Hi there,

My name is Michael

No Matter what you are selling – Hit-Booster will send targeted visitors to your website!

Within 15 minutes you will have your own website traffic generator that will bring in an ever increasing amount of hits to your websites! Automatically

This software is perfect for bringing real traffic to your site… even if… it’s an affiliate link where you have no control over the website content!

Michael –

Thanks for showing an interest in improving my business, which is still very much in its formative stages. In fact, it’s so formative as to not exist. However, l would like to not disappoint either of us at this early juncture. I have an existing blog that could use some more hits and from which I hope to springboard into a sales career.

Quick question, Michael: Do you happen to own any videoconferencing software? If so, I’d like your permission to borrow it. I don’t have a business plan per se, but would love the chance to connect with like-minded customers of yours and sort of “spitball” ideas until I come up with one.

Do you have any idea what the optimal setup for video spitballing is? I’d like to be able to see enough of the other people to be able to monitor body language and such while also being sufficiently far back as to avoid most of the spitballs.

I can’t be too far back, though. I’ll still need to clearly see the others’ eyes in case we decide to take a different angle and approach this exciting new Web 2.0 paradigm through a few rounds of Texas Hold’Em.

Also, (again, assuming you have this videoconferencing equipment, which I would assume you would, considering you seem pretty “on the ball” webwise, not to mention very “email savvy”) would it be possible to view other conference members in rotational 360-degree views? I would like to rule out any of those members who look better from the back than the front as well as those who kinda “look good from a distance.” I have a pretty busy schedule these days and I don’t want to waste valuable time cyberstalking someone who looks great from behind at a distance of 10 feet or greater.

Thanks in advance for the use of your equipment. I will have my secretary forward you the needed information as soon as he or she is hired.

I’m afraid I won’t be needing your Hit-Booster service, however. I’m a little concerned with the last paragraph and its mysterious use of ellipses and exclamation points. Usually the ellipsis would be used to build anticipation rather than making the sentence sound like a horrible bait-and-switch. I’m sure it’s just a typo but it does make me wonder who would be in the market for affiliate linking where they “have no control over the website content.” I’m sure any up and coming entrepreneur would be thrilled to show potential clients a custom website loaded with affiliate links to sketchy foreign porn sites and counterfeit iPod knockoff sales.

Sincerely,

CLT