Posts Tagged ‘Led Zeppelin’

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Top 50 Tracks of 2010: Led Zeppelin – When the Levee Breaks (Sidney Frost’s Redneck Mash Mix)

December 15, 2010

Led Zeppelin – When the Levee Breaks (Sidney Frost’s Redneck Mash Mix).

18. Led Zeppelin – When the Levee Breaks (Sidney Frost’s Redneck Mash Mix).mp3

Sidney Frost, who splits time between Minneapolis, MN and Moab, UT, briefly forsakes his minimal techno stylings for something that unabashedly dismisses the grey matter and heads right for the ass, which will soon be headed to the nearest dancing surface with no regard for your better judgement/dancing ability. The beefed-up thump would make Bonham proud, if only he weren’t so busy rolling in his grave. Coverdale/Page, indeed.

Frost on Resident Advisor.

Frost on Facebook.

Frost on Beatport.

Frost on Nixon.

The rest of the Top 50.

-CLT

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Heavy Rotation Vol. 42

May 2, 2010

You’re probably wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today. Well, I will cut to the chase. Mrs. Farnham passed on late last night, under the most suspicious of circumstances. At first it appeared to be nothing more than natural causes.

Closer inspection showed that her window had been opened from the outside. I also noted that the third finger of her left hand had been removed and used for a doorstop. I found trace amounts of ether and clown makeup on the adjacent pillow. Her Gideon Bible had been opened to a passage in Revelations and a cryptic note stating “Pick up drycleaning” could be made out when rubbed lightly with a pencil.

I will need a statement from each of you, going from oldest to youngest in reverse alphabetical order. Those of you with hypenated last names will need to choose one or the other. No more “keeping your options open.” I’m a little tired of watching line jumpers game the alphabet in this fashion.

It seems obvious, but I’ll mention it anyway: no one is to leave this room under all inquiries are finished. In the meantime, Jeeves will play some hand-selected tunes from his massive collection of 78s. Those of you with heart conditions are advised to lie down or curl into the nearest bassbin.

Jeeves, be a good man and bring the funk.

Leaving the room? Stop by here for more tunes and rock-solid alibis:
The Heavy Rotation Archives

Holy Fuck – Lucky.mp3
Holy Fuck steps things up on their second album, bringing more focus to their psychedelic percussive workouts. Lucky is a prime example of this: a scratching riff melds with a some darting electronics, doing their best impression of a robotic Tom Morello jamming with the Parliament Funkadelic.

All of this combines with some half-buried (and mostly obscured) vocals and a driving, building rhythm section to creat a tune that sticks a foot in your door, asking for no more than 5 minutes of your time. By the time it’s all over, you’re the proud owner of a ridiculously expensive vacuum and a new religion.

Dave Wrangler – Bow Down to Latin America (Holy Fuck vs. Westside Connection).mp3
Within what seemed like mere hours of Holy Fuck’s album release, producer/mashup artist Dave Wrangler delivered this previously unimaginable combination. Say hello to these new best friends: the gangster posturing of Westside Connection and the muscular near-title track of the Fucker’s latest.

As the elements jostle for position early on, you may feel that 2+2, while not actually stretching to “5”, is definitely riding the outer edge of “4.5”. But by the time the first chorus hits, the unlikely couple is locked into the same groove, getting along like Crips and Canadians. (They’re the peanut butter and chocolate of the gangster/nationality world.)

Young Boys – Bring Em Down.mp3
You know all that noise I make about A Place to Bury Strangers taking up the Jesus & Mary Chain’s “Joy of Feedback” cookbook and setting up shop at the local earbleedery? Well, the Young Boys (voted Most Likely to Google You Right Onto the NAMBLA Mailing List) take the fuzz and wah of the JAMC and run with it, making sure to pour on healthy amounts of burnt-out nihilism. (It’s like butter for music – makes everything instantly better.)

The Dylans – I’ll Be Back to Haunt You.mp3
Surfacing during the early-90s Madchester baggy scene, the Dylans released an album full of Beatles-aping psychedelia, which helped them go nowhere fast, albeit in a rather pleasant fashion.

Something fucktacularly bad must have happened shortly thereafter. Their sophomore effort stomps all over the good vibes of their debut like a jackbooted biker “securing” a hippie at Altamont. Bitter, hard charging, feel-bad music to send out to the ones you used to love. Let them know how much their life will suck without you. How much they won’t be able to stop thinking about you.

Let me be
I’m not included
Not aware of any feelings
See confusion
I see changes
Empty words on endless pages

I’m not alive
I’m dead I’m dead I’m dead I’m dead
But I’ll come back to haunt you
I’ll be back to get you
I will not forget you

Led Zeppelin – When the Levee Breaks (Sidney Frost’s Redneck Mask Mix).mp3
Let me just say this: I would highly recommend this track even if I didn’t know this remixer personally. But in the interest of full disclosure, this righteous remix is courtesy of my brother, one Sidney Frost of Minneapolis/Moab.

Showing what our dad would call “intestinal fortitude,” Frost briefly forsakes his minimal techno stylings for something that unabashedly forsakes the grey matter and heads right for the ass, which will soon be headed to the nearest dancing surface, with no regard for your better judgement/dancing ability. The beefed-up thump would make Bonham proud, if only he weren’t so busy rolling in his grave. Coverdale/Page, indeed.

Oh, and in a bit of blogging singularity, young Ulysses of Hidden Leaves dropped the unremixed classic during his Friday musical presentation. Odd, that. In another bit of full disclosure, I would like to say that we have never met before and therefore, there is no way that he could have foreknowledge of the clumsy magic trick we are about to perform, what with his being pulled “randomly” from the audience and all. (Note to self: remove suspicious quotation marks before posting. KTHX.)

-CLT

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Heavy Rotation Vol. 39 – (Almost) Familiar to Millions Edition

April 11, 2010

There comes a time in every DJ’s life when he looks around the dancefloor and sees it’s time to slap the dancers upside the head (musically-speaking). At this point, he will root around in the bag and find something guaranteed to both a.) move asses and b.) appeal to the largest cross-section.

Voila! The remix. If done well, it becomes a go-to track. If not, there’s always tomorrow night, or next week or whenever.

These are done well.

Slightly undercooked, but still tasty:
The Heavy Rotation Archives

Still not enough music? Check out Hidden Leaves’ Friday throwdown, in case you’re still trying to sober up/drown out the voices/finish reading the 5,800 word article on quantum physics. A few weeks back saw Ulysses indulging his SWPL-esque rap fetish and following weeks have seen artists as diverse as Charles Mingus and skatepunkers The Saints.

Led Zeppelin – Immigrant Song (Dirty Funker Remix).mp3
The mysterious Dirty Funker comes from the UK, a mystical place where thousands of people gather in boggy fields and dance until NME announces the “next big thing.” Whoever he is, DF does some amazing mixes, rerubbing everyone from Metallica to Nirvana to Michael Jackson to the White Stripes.

This one goes large, approximating Bonham’s thunder with a brutal 808 and spinning dials back and forth for maximum effect. Tuff, danceable and huge.

White Stripes – Seven Nation Army (Adam Freeland Mix).mp3
Last week’s fan favorite returns to win your hearts, minds and organs beyond with his thumping take on the White Stripe’s already pretty thumping Seven Nation Army. The real fun is the pitchshifting tweakery on Jack White’s low-slung guitar work, which gives the track a nicely discombobulating feel.

Guns & Roses – Welcome to the Jungle (Dirty Dub Hole Mix).mp3
Well, with variety being the spice of life and all, here’s another solid mix by Dirty Funker, this time under the charming Dirty Dub Hole moniker. Lest you mistake my attempted metaphor-mixing for a pan of this track, be advised that it does kick serious amounts of ass on several levels, not the least of which is the all the panning going on inside, which flows nicely with the faux-power kill effects.

Yep. That should make it all crystal clear. Just listen.

Blur – Song #2 (Edu K Remix).mp3
Perhaps the most gregarious of Blur’s tunes, Song #2 seemed to be their Creep, the kind of inescapable hit that has all the frat boys mouthing your words and the all the sorority girls mouthing the frat boys.

So Ed Banger artist Edu K does what anyone with his talent would do: BANG BANG BANG BANG. Takes a bad song and makes it badder. If you thought all that woo-hooing was played out, well, you just ain’t heard it like this before. (Truth be told, most of the annoying “woo-hoo” has been removed and replaced with large doses of distorted, pitchshifted samples and banging dancefloor drums.)

CCR – Fortunate Son (Streetlab Remix).mp3
Good ol’ Creedence. Lebowski knows what I’m talking about. NYC electronic duo Streetlab have an inordinate amount of fun, taking this classic rock staple and getting it all pimped up and ready for the floor. Lots of pitching, shifting and knob twiddling of the non-sexual type.

Go hit up their website. They’ve got a whole album full of remixes (Pet Shop Boys, Beastie Boys, ZZ Top, Led Zeppelin) available for the low, low price of one email address.

Bonus track: (Just listen.)

O.M.G.

Well, I hope you enjoyed them all. That last track was, of course, J.D. remixed by Database. If you wish to have this piece of Americana tainting your hard drive, go ahead and right-click on the O.M.G. to download it.

– CLT

[All music posted on Fancy Plans… is kick ass and too awesome to be contained. All music is also posted temporarily and, due to its high level of ass-kicking, should not be distributed without a prescription and care should be taken while operating heavy equipment or dancing around the living room (clothing optional, but do remember that the blinds are open/kids are still awake).
Should you wish to have your brilliant artistic statement forced back into confinement, please email me at 2timegrime@gmail.com. Feel free to leave a comment, as that will probably be noticed sooner.
By all means, if you like what you hear (and you will), please support the totally rocking artist(s) by purchasing some music or heading out to see them live.]
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Fancy Plans Guide to the All-New Hardy Boys Adventures

July 3, 2009
After rolling the 2d12, Joe Hardy accidentally summons a "Lumbering Wildcat"

After rolling the 2d12, Joe Hardy accidentally summons a "Lumbering Wildcat"

A quick primer for those of you unfamiliar with the Hardy Boys series of rubber-stamped mysteries.

Frank and Joe Hardy – Fearless, intrepid, fastidious, square. Always just a step or two behind the perpetrators, needing just one more seemingly random coincidence to break the case wide open. In a word: insufferable.

In real life, the only break from peer-group ass-beatings these two would get would come during brief respites as their peers rested and massaged their ass-beating limbs.

Chet– Their “chum,” as he is referred to. Incessantly. Exists solely to provide very occasional comic relief and to ask a stream of questions leading to expositionary dialogue. Some samples:

“Fill me in on the details.”
“Run that by me one more time.”
“How did you know X was involved with Y?”
“How do you figure?”
“Has anyone been referring to you as ‘meddling kids?'”
“Recap the story so far and update us, I mean me, on any recent developments.”

Dad – Shows up in disguise during the last quarter of the book, offering some key insight or piece of damning evidence. Of course, we won’t know this until he shows up in the final chapter to rescue the boys from certain death/dismemberment, usually with some serious law enforcement in tow.

As always, he’ll deliver several paragraphs of exposition detailing his side of the case, which is always something he’s been keeping an eye on for awhile. However, despite his “investigation” he can’t be bothered to make an arrest until his offspring are staring death in the eye.

Mom: Who knows? Busy making cookies and enjoying a constantly empty house?

Which brings us to the here and now. While this series would seem to have joined the Bobbsey Twins and Nancy Drew in the been-there, done-that annals of old-timey serials, there is, of course, money to be made by tapping the nostalgia of their original readers to purchase books for their kids and grandkids.

Here’s what the publishers have lined up for the next wave of Hardy Boys mysteries:

The Case of the Missing Homework
With the day winding down, the insufferable brothers race the clock to remind their teacher that their promised homework hasn’t been assigned yet, much to the dismay of Chet and their other classmates.

The boys soon find themselves in a hairy situation as several of their fellow students gather outside the school to beat their fresh-scrubbed asses. Their dad arrives in the nick of time to defuse the situation, congratulating them on their honorable behavior and taking them out for a malt.

The Riddle of the Mysterious Sext
Someone at the boys’ high school is sending racy pictures and garbled text to their cellphones. Can the boys find the vowels they need to unravel who exactly wants to “do2hawtbros@1nce”? Their dad shows up just in time to confiscate their phones and, consequently, get arrested for possession of child pornography.

The Haunted Amusement Park
The boys are invited to spend a week at Wonderland Ranch. Mystery is soon afoot as the boys discover an eerie lack of “ranch style” animals and an overabundance of “Jesus Juice,” served by monkey butlers.

After several attempts to speak to the owner (who never shows his entire face and refuses to exit his oxygen chamber) about their concerns, the boys lapse into a drunken sleep, occasionally interrupted by disturbing dreams. Their dad shows up at the last minute to rescue the boys and collect a $20 million settlement.

Unfortunately for the boys, no one had used the word "chums" in over 40 years

Unfortunately for the boys, no one had used the word "chums" in over 40 years

The Curse of the Mexican Mule
The boys run afoul of local smugglers during their spring break trip to Cancun. They sober up quickly as they become entangled with a local drug cartel. Badly wounded after their attempt to “talk things out” with the local drug lord (“It’s not just the language barrier, Joe. It’s their awful Mexican ideals!”), the boys are left for dead in the heat of the Sonoran desert.

Their dad cuts short his business trip to Las Vegas to answer the boys’ distress signal and introduce them to their new mom.

Note: This is the first time the series has featured the phrases “full cavity search” and “America’s tough, but fair, drug policies.”

The Purloined Art
The boys assist the RIAA in hunting down the last known Kazaa user in the U.S., a Mrs. Robert Saperstein, whose granddaughter has left 11 songs in a shared folder. Although the computer isn’t functional due to its last Windows Update occurring in June of 2000, the boys, with help from their dad, ensure she gets what’s coming to her: an $880,000 fine and another black eye for the music industry.

The Hometown Incident
A wave of brutal vigilante violence sweeps through the boys’ hometown, spurred on by their success as teenage servers of justice, legal system be damned. Sack-of-doorknob beatings, kangaroo courts and weekly lynch mobs are the norm.

The boys attempt to calm the crowd by explaining that their amateur sleuthing is worlds away from brutalizing random teenage shoplifters, but the boys’ “can-do” spirit and sickeningly cloying speech patterns only fan the flamers. Cooler heads prevail once the boys’ father shows up to paint the town red, rename it “Hell” and declare martial law.

The Secreted Body
A mysterious letter sends the boys to beautiful New Jersey to hunt for the long-missing Jimmy Hoffa. They are soon warned away by colorful locals who “wouldn’t want anything to happen to that mother of yours. When this fails to get a response, they change the veiled threat to cover that “get-out-of-certain-death-free card of yours. You know, your dad.”

The boys find themselves bound for a watery and anonymous death when their father shows up and smooth-talks the boys to freedom, using mainly several million in unmarked bills.

The Runic Photo
The boys uncover an old picture depicting an ancient runic language. They circle the globe looking for the key to unlock the code, visiting ancient Sumeria, Mesopotamia and the local library.

They remain stumped until an anthropologist at Johns Hopkins points out that they are in possession of a badly faded segment from the dust jacket for Led Zeppelin’s fourth album. Their dad arrives just in time to laugh his ass off, before getting stoned with the good doctor in his basement.

The secret is: gets you drunk for cheap

The secret is: gets you drunk for cheap

 

The Errant Portal
During a quest to retrieve an overdue book for the school library, the boys stumble across an inscription containing the “God number,” which allows them to travel freely to and from the past. After an extended visit to yesteryear, the boys return to find the world nearly destroyed.

The boys and their father speculate on what could have triggered this cataclysm:
“When Chet called Mother Theresa a whore…”
“When Joe shoved Einstein down that flight of stairs…”
“When Dad knocked up Joan of Arc…”

Their dad makes a few quick jumps and everything is soon back to normal. Or is it?
Note: It is.

The Case of the Missing Uncle
The boys discover that their Uncle Art never returned from his trip to Sweden. A discussion with Aunt Margaret only further confuses the matter as she is now living with Aunt Amy, whom they had never met before.

Before the boys can delve any deeper into this matter, their dad shows up to give them “the talk.” Dad explains, “Remember when I got a divorce from mom, because of you two?”
“You said that wasn’t our fault!”
“Your mom said that. Anyway, it turns out that she left because she didn’t like herself and wanted to be a different person. So… Art divorced your Aunt Marge so he could be someone else who definitely isn’t your Aunt Amy, so let’s have no further questions about either of these two perverts whom you will never be seeing again.”

The Darkest Hour
With their business winding down due to a lack of interest or remaining, unincarcerated criminals, the boys begin hawking their mystery-solving skills door-to-door. They begin to help/annoy the locals by finding answers to their problems. Here are a few:

The Mysterious Machine
Not really considered canon due to A.) its crossover with the Scooby Doo characters and B.) it being a piece of very sexually explicit fan fiction, dealing with the van being in a near-constant state of “a-rockin,” often with Scooby himself involved.

-CLT