Archive for November, 2010

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Top 50 Tracks of 2010: Diversion #1 featuring Lil Wayne vs. Deadmau5

November 30, 2010

Deadmau5 vs. Lil Wayne – Steady Ghostin (Mike D Remix).mp3

By request, here’s a track that is both a.) not in the Top 50 and b.) not even from 2010. (Well, technically it is, but Ghosts N Stuff predates this fine year of our Lord 2K10.) Those would be the only things “wrong” with this mashed-up masterpiece.

Take Deadmau5’s inescapable Ghosts N Stuff, which has been passed around more times than your sister.* Add Lil Wayne’s unhinged nasal braggadacio and you’ve got got yourself a dancefloor annihilator guaranteed to get everyone’s hands in the air and off your sister’s** ass.

This particular couplet never fails to make me grin like a grill-sportin’ fool:

Now, I’m the man around this motherfucker
I’m so hot you probably catch a tan around this motherfucker

* This, of course, does not refer to your sister, whose purity has never been assailed repeatedly at frat hourses, Bourbon Street, the supply closet, etc. Obviously this refers to other people’s promiscuous sisters (you know who you are) whose sexual partners are now nearing triple digits.
** Again, not your sister. We used the royal “your” to implicate specifically those people whose sisters have earned the nickname “Town Pump” or “Community Garden***.”
*** Because everyone’s deposited some seed there. It’s kind of a Biblical term. We’ve also heard “Cum Dumpster” bandied about, but that was from some known degenerates whose opinion is not to be trusted other than while attempting to purchase narcotics from said degenerates.
And don’t even think of bringing up politics or religion while making small talk during the weighing and packaging of said narcotics. There’s an hour-and-a-half of your life you won’t get back. An hour-and-a-half of non-drug-using life. Gun control discussions are pretty much the same kind of timesink only with the added dubious thrill of an impromptu display of loaded weapons by a coked-up, easily angered paranoiac in the “import/export” business.

-CLT

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Top 50 Tracks of 2010: ///▲▲▲\\\ – How They Kill You

November 30, 2010

33. ///▲▲▲\\\ – How They Kill You.mp3

If there’s symbols all over the fucking place, it can only mean one thing: it’s Witching time. ///▲▲▲\\\ (a.k.a. _v_o_i_d) takes us on a 2-minute dungeon crawl, layering menace all over a foundation of misfiring drum machines, distorted vocals and an oppressively hellish organ.

I’d say it’s not for the “faint of heart,” but if they can’t handle two minutes of this, they probably shouldn’t be out of bed, much less treading this deep into the internet.

The rest of the Top 50.

-CLT

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Top 50 Tracks of 2010: The Delta Mirror – He Was Worse Than the Needle He Gave You

November 29, 2010

34. The Delta Mirror – He Was Worse Than the Needle He Gave You.mp3

This caustic epitaph of a track fittingly wanders around the Antler’s funeral spray-covered end of the musical spectrum, chronicling a life better left unlived. The tune wears its heart on its sleeve, its pain on its chest and drags a corroded beat behind it like so many monkeys on a back already broken from hauling a compressed lifetime of emotional baggage.

In other words, quite a bit different than the dreamier pop we caught them doing last time.

More on the Mirror.

iMirrors.

The rest of Top 50.

-CLT

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Top 50 Tracks of 2010: Golden Ages – It Doesn’t Mean Shit

November 28, 2010

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35. Golden Ages – It Doesn’t Mean Shit.mp3

Fuck all the genre bullshit. Golden Ages is here to make some high-quality electronica and they’ll be damned if they need yer trusty “All Knowing Guide to Electronica Standards and Guidelines, 10th Edition” to “help” him along.

It’s a distorted to hell and back, flanged-up piece of electro-wonk (not to be confused with “-wank,” which is a Rick Wakeman side project), buzzing joyfully and noisily in your ears. Is that water trickling along in the background? And did I just hear the track title swing by with little fanfare? (Yes. And yes.)

Yeah. This shit’s Golden.

The rest of the Top 50.

-CLT

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Top 50 Tracks of 2010: Holy Fuck – Lucky

November 27, 2010

36. Holy Fuck – Lucky.mp3

Holy Fuck tighten things up on their third album, bringing more focus to their psychedelic percussive workouts. Lucky is a prime example of this: a scratching riff melds with some darting electronics, combining to form a killer musical mutation: half-robot, half-Tom Morello and half-Parliament Funkadelic.

This dubious mathematical equation then combines with half-buried vocals and a driving, building rhythm section to create a tune that sticks a foot in your door, asking for no more than 5 minutes of your time. By the time it’s all over, you’re the proud owner of a ridiculously expensive vacuum and a new religion.

The Holiest of Fucks at low, low prices!

The rest of the Top 50.

-CLT

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Top 50 Tracks of 2010: Record Eating Machines – Roover

November 26, 2010

37. Record Eating Machines – Roover.mp3

Both the track title and the production name are dead on. Nothing says “dancefloor wrecking ball” like Record Eating Machines and nothing says exactly what this sounds like more than the onomatopeic “Roover.” To be more specific, it sounds like this:

+

(starting about 30 seconds in…)

+

=

Bang on!

The rest of the Top 50.

-CLT

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Top 50 Tracks of 2010: The Vaselines – Ruined

November 25, 2010

38. The Vaselines – Ruined.mp3

Classic indie-era (read: the mid-’80s) popsters The Vaselines return after a 16+ year hiatus without missing a beat, putting all four right back on the fucking floor with this speedy, cynical romp that sounds like Boss Hogg and Imperial Teen engaging in a very noisy dry hump.

(Technically, they got back together in 2006. And they did release an album in 2009. But this is from their 2010 album and it’s a kickassic song, so we’ll just pretend the intro is fine the way it is.)

Buy some Vaseline here.

The rest of the Top 50.

-CLT