Posts Tagged ‘Quotes’

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CLT’s Hand-Cranked Quote Machine v.4

March 7, 2009
"Not" a crook

"Graceful Exit"

This should be the final quotes post. For now. If you would like a transcript of these posts, please send $29.95 (American or Zimbabwean currency only, please) to:

Capitalist Lion Tamer Holding Co.
d/b/a Amalgamated Spats
3431 Annex B Road, Suite 42
LaBrea, CA  92071

Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery from DHL Pony Express.

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
Brendan Gill

Ah, love. The walks over soft grass, the smiles over candlelight, the arguments over just about everything else.
Max Headroom

Marriage succeeds love as smoke does a flame.
Nicholas Chamfort

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
Kin Hubbard

There are two kinds of music – good music and bad music. Good music is the music I want to hear. Bad music is music that I don’t want to hear.
Fran Lebowitz

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CLT’s Hand-Cranked Quote Machine v.3

March 7, 2009
"Not Guilty"

"Not Guilty"

More from the archives, hand-copied by Tibetan monks in between bouts of fasting and self-immolation…

Did you ever notice, the only one in A Christmas Carol with any character is Scrooge? Marley is a whiner who fucked over the world and then hasn’t the spine to pay his dues quietly; Belle, Scrooge’s ex-girlfriend, deserted him when he needed her most; Bob Cratchit is a gutless toady without enough get up and go to assert himself; and the less said about that little treacle-mouth, Tiny Tim, the better.
Harlan Ellison

Early in life I developed a distaste for the Cratchits that time has not sweetened. I do not think I was an embittered child, but the Cratchits’ aggressive worthiness, their bravely borne poverty, their exultation over that wretched goose, disgusted me. I particularly disliked Tiny Tim (a part always played by a girl because girls had superior powers of looking moribund and worthy at the same time), and when he chirped, “God bless us every one!” my mental response was akin to Sam Goldwyn’s famous phrase, “Include me out.”
Robertson Davies

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CLT’s Hand-Cranked Quote Machine v.2

March 7, 2009
"breasts"

"breasts"

Long story short, there are a lot more pages of quotes than I had thought. So, I’ll break this up a bit so as not too hijack the entire blog. Expect to do some jumping at the More… tags.

It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy.
James Thurber

Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
Ambrose Bierce

Ninety percent of everything is crap.
Theodore Sturgeon

When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away.
Robert Hutchins

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CLT’s Hand-Cranked Quote Machine

March 7, 2009

evil-quotes

While in the apparently never-ending process of moving in, I came across several typed pages of quotes that I found insightful, humorous or otherwise pertinent back in the day. My guess is that I put this together close to ten years ago. The bold quotes indicate that I had highlighted these as particularly good.

Lots of cynicism in here, and that really hasn’t changed. It seems the more information I consume, the more cynical I get. I just hope that 30 years down the road, when I’m drunkenly sitting around in my underwear, bitching about how the world isn’t the same as it used to be, that it’s because it’s gotten better. I guess we’ll see.

Until then, read this. Then get yer damn baggy jeans and yer hula hoops and get out of my yard!

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
Lawrence J. Peter

Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.
Camille Paglia

There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
Steven Wright

mcr-fans

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
Eric Hoffer

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