Posts Tagged ‘Pudding’


Kenny Chesney Not Gay

February 13, 2009
The pillow soon felt the full force of Kenny's heterosexuality.

The pillow soon felt the full force of Kenny's heterosexuality.

In a recent Playboy interview, Kenny Chesney has made it clear (again, apparently) that he is indeed no fan of man-on-man action. I’d always assumed he wasn’t, considering the country music world is running neck-and-neck with the rap world in rampant homophobia.

I’m not going to quote the Bard here, but he really seems to be putting a lot of effort into putting this rumor to rest. Which is fine. Job security and whatever. But then he throws in the classic, “I’ve got a long line of women who could testify that I am not gay.” He even makes the claim that he was “…over 100 women several years ago.”

What a stud.

He managed to lock down Renee Zellweger (featured in US magazine’s 2008 list: “100 Somewhat Attractive People”) for an entire four months. Presumably, the divorce was the result of Zellweger realizing she had married a fiercely heterosexual douchebag with over 100 random sexual encounters under his belt.

Oddly enough, none of these 100+ belt notches has stepped up to verify his claim to the hetero throne. Maybe someday one will and lay our fears of a homo-contaminated country music world to rest.

#37 (out of 100 and counting): “Oh, yeah. Kenny’s straight. I went out with him for a couple of months. His favorite thing to do was have me put on his coat and hat before banging (can I say ‘banging?’) me up the ass.”

The more Kenny talks about his rampant cocksmithery and non-gayness, the more he’s beginning to resemble this guy: