Posts Tagged ‘Pompous Asshole’


Heavy Rotation v.3

June 21, 2009

I was trying to build a summer theme for this edition of Heavy Rotation, but nothing seemed to hold these five tracks together. Not even my usual gossamer strands of bullshit.

So… without further ado: five completely unrelated tracks, held together by the simple fact that they all are guaranteed to kick some audio ass.


Brighton Port Authority – Toe Jam.mp3
Fatboy Slim’s latest project, an all-star jam session of a band, featuring the likes of David Byrne, Dizzee Rascal, Iggy Pop, Ashley Beedle and Simon Thornton. This particular track features the first two on the list, in a very summery and bouncy tune dealing with life in general (women, booze, no particular plans…)

Bonus video:


MGMT – Kids (Soulwax Mix).mp3
Brooklyn’s MGMT’s song of low-key environmental awareness (…control yourself/take only what you need from it) has the hell remixed out of it by Belgian knob twiddlers, Soulwax. Starts out rather light on its feet, before a propulsive beat and some filter fuckery takes it into tough-as-nails territory. There’s a relative return to sanity towards the middle as Soulwax drops it down to just the vocals for a momentary breather. And then the beating commences, this time with more digital cowbell.

Bonus video:

(Embedding disabled by His Satanic Majesty’s Request. Also, not the remixed version, but the original)


Sloan – I Am the Cancer.mp3
From Sloan’s debut album Smeared. Their first album showed some pretty heavy Ride/MBV/Blur influences, but it’s still my favorite. All fuzzy guitar and shoegazer vocals. The kind of thing I dig the most. They have since matured and went on to make several albums which have been compared favorably to the Beatles and other sixties psychedelia/folksters. Whatever. This is them at their tormented, rocking best.

Better answer
I am the cancer
Removed from you


The Big Pink – Velvet.mp3
Another summery tune, but in a much different vein. This is more of the “heading back from a late night at the lake” sort of tune, evoking a high-speed drive through a winding forest road, guided only by your highbeams and what’s left of your buzz. The feeling that you stayed up too late and drank/drugged too much. Just a gorgeous windblown track, propelled along nicely by airy vocals and a killer riff (by none other than a former guitarist for Alec Empire, of all people).



The War on Drugs – Taking the Farm.mp3
Another lightweight, hippy-ish track about city v. country living. The lyrics are a bit elliptical but the shuffling Madchester beat recalls the glory days of the Stone Roses, Soup Dragons and, of course, the Farm. Guaranteed to stick in your head and, quite possibly, move your ass.


[All music posted on Fancy Plans… is kick ass and too awesome to be contained. All music is also posted temporarily and, due to it’s high level of ass-kicking, should not be distributed without a prescription and care should be taken while operating heavy equipment or dancing around the living room (clothing optional, but do remember that the blinds are open/kids are still awake).
Should you wish to have your brilliant artistic statement forced back into confinement, please email me at Feel free to leave a comment, as that will probably be noticed sooner.
By all means, if you like what you hear (and you will), please support the totally rocking artist(s) by purchasing some music or heading out to see them live.]
h1 Declares Your Opinion moot

April 28, 2009


The Time Hot 100 Most Influential poll is completed. Music Machinery has a couple of excellent posts on 4chan’s triumphant carpetbombing (pre-captcha and post-captcha).

Time, Inc. has responded to their complete failure with all the dignity and good humor of a visiting relative who’s just had their suit ruined by your food-throwing progeny. They admit to being hacked (a little) and that they might have screwed up (a little). They do not admit to any hasty barn-door closing after noticing moot had racked up 12+ million votes in a record amount of time.

But what really screams, “I CAN TAKE A JOKE. HA-HA!” through clenched teeth is this quote (from managing editor Josh Tyrangiel):

“I would remind anyone who doubts the results that this is an Internet poll,” he says. “Doubting the results is kind of the point.”


Had this poll gone as planned (or at least set up with the bare minimum of security) and someone like their man Obama (whom they have publicly fellated for months with all the dignity of a hammered sorority girl) taken the top spot, would they still have trotted out this, “You internet people are stupid and don’t know shit about shit” line?

Not to sound pretentious, but go fuck yourself, you pompous asshole. You’re fucked in the head if you think that 90% of that list has any influence over the “future of America.” No wonder the print world can’t deal with the rise of the internet. They continue to drip condescension over every blog that beats them to a punch or points out their fallibility.

Go ahead and wave that journalism degree and blame everyone who has gone elsewhere for news. You’re about as relevant and needed as a Betamax instruction book.

Maybe you’ll play it safe next year and allow your print subscribers to fill out handwritten 3×5 cards and mail them in. This way you can join hands in solidarity with another bloated dinosaur who could use a spike in business.