Posts Tagged ‘Bloodless Coup’

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This Week’s Featured Soap Operas

October 9, 2009
Young at heart; Restless in legs

Young at heart; Restless in legs

This week on The Young & The Restless
Jack shoots first, leaves a detailed questionnaire with the cooling corpse. Sharon breaks hearts as a fictional character triumphing over scripted adversity. Gloria bets $200 on Black. Unbeknownst to Victor, his refrigerator warranty has expired. Paul hits Level 60 with his W.O.W. Rogue. Katherine develops ovarian cancer. And scurvy. Devon fires up some dramatic music, paces thoughtfully. A mysterious fire destroys Nicholas’ collection of common mid-’90s baseball cards. In a short-sighted and self-destructive act, Nikki begins killing off the other characters.

Gen. Hospital's illustrious military career was summed up by this screenshot, pathetic caption

Gen. Hospital's illustrious military career was summed up by this screenshot, pathetic caption

This week on General Hospital
Max’s bloodless coup fails miserably, mostly on the “bloodless” part. Alice watches old family movies, cries silently. Sonny blames his latest fight on his alcoholism, which he blames on his dyslexia. Surrounded by freshly buried corpses, Carly declares her battle with sanity a “tie.” Patrick’s abrasive behavior results in shunning, beating. Luke attempts to “monetize” his masturbation habit, with disastrous results. Samantha touches herself inappropriately; sues Judy Blume. Monica spends a quiet evening at home with a bottle of gin, a jar of peanut butter and the family dog. Jeff decides to fight “the war at home,” much to the dismay and terror of his neighbors. For reasons known only to him, Alfred begins sporting an eyepatch and goatee.

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