A long-delayed welcome back to an old favorite: the Bible. As usual, the sugar-coated teachings of the elders have been undercut with the saucy impertinence of today’s cynical bloggers. While many of you may find this to be “just fine,” rest assured someone, somewhere is busily putting together a chain email, full of grammatical errors […]
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The Bible: Fancy Plans Edition Vol. 6
February 26, 2010Well, well, well. Look who’s back. And you thought we’d all forgotten about you. How could we, what with your “Best-Selling Book in the World Ever” status and your constant unwelcome presence in our hotel room drawers when all we need is the SpectraVision guide. Say “hello” (again) to the Bible, as translated by Fancy […]
The Bible: Fancy Plans Edition Vol. 5
December 29, 2009The Bible is full of parables and stories that teach us valuable lessons through the suffering of others. Perhaps no story teaches us more than the story of Job. It teaches us that God toys with his creation and falls victim to a manipulative and bitchy Satan too easily. Meet Job: an all-around good guy who […]
The Bible: Fancy Plans Edition Vol. 4
December 15, 2009Back once again with the Renegade Master, the full damager, power to the people. Bringing back the Bible, old skool. Verily, gaze upon my mad rhymes and prepare to start throwing limbs about carefreely. Volume 4 in what is a planned 144-volume series deals with the story of Jonah, another one of God’s chosen people. And much like […]
The Bible: Fancy Plans Edition Vol. 3
November 20, 2009It’s time for Volume 3 of the prestigious and greatly overrated Fancy Plans’ Biblical remixing series. In this edition, we tackle a passage from the book of Joshua (chapter 5 to be exact) in which we find that being the leader of the nomadic Jews wasn’t all about laying siege to Jericho, but it was […]
The Bible: Fancy Plans’ Edition Vol. 2
November 4, 2009As you may recall, our first edition of the Fancy Plans’ Bible dealt with the final chapter of the final book of the Bible. It was all doomsday and J-Dog/Dawg. Oh, and there was a fine Crystal Pepsi reference about 12 words into it, so that was pretty awesome. (If you don’t remember, click here […]
The Bible: Fancy Plans Edition Vol. 1
October 29, 2009(A quick explanation on this post: This is actually culled from a comment thread over at Stop Annoying Me, the Internet’s finest source for booze-powered cynicism. Tannerleah takes on a variety of topics including soccer moms, John Gosselin, Randy Quaid’s stick-up techniques and pretty much anything else that reeks of stupidity/calculated bullshit. A man among […]
Fancy Plans… Guide to Rock and Roll Vol. 7 (Diminishing Returns)
July 6, 2009The rock and roll machine hums on, not dead as critics say, just resting. Those who have honestly assessed the situation have noted that the humming is actually coming from the life-support machine, not from rock and roll itself. Unfortunately for the supposed heirs to the rock throne, rock and roll’s will has not been […]
The Amplified Shakespeare: Sonnet 18
December 19, 2009A new generation of children are now surfing the internet, often without a moral compass. Who will help steer these youngsters toward education and edification? The TMZ’s of the world? AO-fucking-L? Never let it be said that Fancy Plans didn’t “think of the children,” as we proudly present the legendary works of Shakespeare (current record-holder: Most […]
