Archive for December 30th, 2010

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Top 50 Tracks of 2010: Lazer Crystal – Love Rhombus

December 30, 2010

3. Lazer Crystal – Love Rhombus.mp3

Sounds like ’80s music is/was supposed to sound like. Some icy vocals. Glittering synths. The underlit intersection where the New Romantic movement collided gently with the melodic castoffs of the industrial scene. It sounds like the sort of music that should have been on the Less Than Zero soundtrack rather than the schizophrenic wet dream of a major label exec it ended up being. (Bangles, Poison, Aerosmith, Joan Jett, Slayer, Danzig, David Lee Roth, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Doors [?])

(Of course, the movie also features two colossal errors:
1. An attempt to place a sympathetic moral character into an amoral story.
2. Have this Jiminy Cricket be played by Andrew McCarthy, the only person who can make a movie starring both Robert Downey, Jr. and James Spader incredibly dull.
Bear in mind that Downey, Jr. and Spader did nothing more than play themselves (a cokehound and a colossal prick, respectively) and yet still managed to outshine the twin vanilla powers of McCarthy and love interest, Jamie Gertz. [Not that McCarthy doesn’t already have a proven track record for making movies worse.*])

More accurately, Love Rhombus sounds like the soundtrack to the book, before Nancy Reagan instilled a cliched, false conscience into the coke-fueled ’80s.

*More on this later, w/r/t Less Than Zero, McCarthy.

Calibrate your Lazers here.

Flashback to MCMLXXX.

Lazerblast.

The rest of the Top 50.

Bonus track:

Hot Pink BMX.mp3

This rocks hard in a way that tracks named Hot Pink BMX shouldn’t. A completely different side of Lazer Crystal and a great band name for any Death Set-esque electro-punks currently in need of one.

-CLT

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