Top 50 Tracks of 2010: Glitter Bones – Ceremonial SecretsDecember 29, 2010
While there are a ton of consistent bands out there, there are very few consistently good bands, and there are even fewer consistently great bands.
Glitter Bones falls into the last category. I have yet to hear a track of theirs that I would kick out of bed, mentally stating, “Done that already. No need for an encore.”
Even artists I love irrationally (the Pixies, Love & Rockets, A Place to Bury Strangers, Whitey) have released a few clunkers. Granted, their worst is still better than 90% of everything else out there, a majority of which does nothing but lie there lifelessly, forcing you to do all the work.
(Note: some of these “clunkers” do surprise me, though, altering my take on them in unexpected ways the next time they make their way through my mp3 player. Some sort of transformation takes place, not entirely unlike that mousy girl from all the movies who suddenly takes her hair down and removes her unstylish glasses, morphing into a stunner that elicits a “Hey… It’s you. I see I’ve misjudged you and that what I was looking for was under my nose the whole time.”)
Glitter Bones is all upfront devastating beauty. This track in particular (to continue winding our way down this path paved with dubious metaphors) is the stunner that steps into the bar, turning every head instantly. Even “hooked up” heads that should know better.
She (the track, remember?) glides up to the bar (glides!), simultaneously raising the hopes of every guy in the room, most of whom have already mysteriously appeared at the rail to buy here a drink.
As they gaze blankly into her vertiginous beauty, their hopes and dreams are suddenly dashed with the arrival of her boyfriend. 6’6″ if he’s an inch, carrying his carved ebony body with an otherworldly confidence, devastating in its own way.
As the throng of smaller, less attractive men suddenly look a million other directions at once while ordering Cosmos and Fuzzy Navels (for themselves, apparently) from a highly distracted bartender, her godlike boyfriend orders something manly for himself and something lightweight but incredibly complicated for her. The men who never had a chance are further devastated by the rich tone of his voice, which is as powerful as it is ear pleasing, like the voice of God’s own DJ.
That is this track.