Kenny Chesney Not Gay

February 13, 2009
The pillow soon felt the full force of Kenny's heterosexuality.

The pillow soon felt the full force of Kenny's heterosexuality.

In a recent Playboy interview, Kenny Chesney has made it clear (again, apparently) that he is indeed no fan of man-on-man action. I’d always assumed he wasn’t, considering the country music world is running neck-and-neck with the rap world in rampant homophobia.

I’m not going to quote the Bard here, but he really seems to be putting a lot of effort into putting this rumor to rest. Which is fine. Job security and whatever. But then he throws in the classic, “I’ve got a long line of women who could testify that I am not gay.” He even makes the claim that he was “…over 100 women several years ago.”

What a stud.

He managed to lock down Renee Zellweger (featured in US magazine’s 2008 list: “100 Somewhat Attractive People”) for an entire four months. Presumably, the divorce was the result of Zellweger realizing she had married a fiercely heterosexual douchebag with over 100 random sexual encounters under his belt.

Oddly enough, none of these 100+ belt notches has stepped up to verify his claim to the hetero throne. Maybe someday one will and lay our fears of a homo-contaminated country music world to rest.

#37 (out of 100 and counting): “Oh, yeah. Kenny’s straight. I went out with him for a couple of months. His favorite thing to do was have me put on his coat and hat before banging (can I say ‘banging?’) me up the ass.”

The more Kenny talks about his rampant cocksmithery and non-gayness, the more he’s beginning to resemble this guy:


One comment

  1. […] of 50′s country music for every road trip we took).  I’m not talking about trash like Kenny Chesney or Toby Keith (even Willie Nelson can be a little too much for me).  I’m talking about the […]

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