Art of the Remix v2

February 13, 2009

Today’s case study: the Rapture.

The Rapture is one of New York’s finest dance punk bands. Their music tends to be more weighted towards the dance end of the spectrum and their punk is of the decidedly post- variety. Post-post-punk to be exact (thanks for clearing that up, allmusic). They look like this:


and are most definitely not to be confused with the Rapture, which (although spelled the same) apparently looks like this:


The Rapture (Christian version) is some sort of a mass soul harvest, wherein God declares all bets off and retrieves those headed to heaven without much concern as to whether this “is a good time for them.” Presumably, the summoning will instantly convert believers into Polyphonic Spree members and all cash into St. Peter’s Pearly Gates Amusement Park and House of Worship Fun Bux.

Those left behind will be forced to deal with a catastrophe on par with what the Y2K bug was supposed to do, if only the tinfoil hat brigade has been right. They will also have to deal with the huge discrepancy between the number of people who thought they were going to heaven and the number that actually went.

SCENE: Family driving to church…or synagogue

MAN: Anyway, the homeowners association isn’t going to be able to legally make me take down the “Jesus Hates Fags” sign in our front yard. Not only is it a moral statement, but it’s also protected by their precious “First Amendment rights.”
WIFE: I think you’re confusing morals with bigotry… *yoink*
CHILD1: Mom?  *yoink*
(Dodges suddenly driverless vehicles and crashing plane.)
MAN: This is bullshit.
CHILD2: Fuck this, I’m going Wiccan. Oh. And I’m gay, Dad.
MAN: Jesus…
(Car demolished by suddenly driverless semi.)

On to the remixes:

the Rapture – Get Myself Into It (SebastiAn Mix)
Banging, charging remix by one of a new wave of French DJs/producers that retains some of the original funk and definitely all of the handclaps.

the Rapture – W.A.Y.U.H. (Claude VonStroke Drops Your Panties Mix)
More of a techy, somewhat house-like feel to this one. Nice work on the vocal samples and the bass progressions are hella catchy.


the Rapture – Out of the Races and Onto the Track
Early single by the punk funkers, featuring some galloping percussion and a fair bit of yelling. Used to magnificent effect in the “Pre-Saturday Night Party Party” scene during the opening minutes of “Rules of Attraction.”

All mp3s are only temporarily available. If you like what you hear, please support the artists. If you wish to have a track removed, please contact me at 2timegrime@gmail.com.



  1. Your rendition of the Rapture (Christian version) was the funniest thing I’ve read all day!! Classic CLT!

    • I think the funniest thing about it (if it happens) is the number of people who thought they had boarding passes already but find themselves still slumming it with the rest of us who knew we didn’t have a prayer.

  2. Found this via Twitter and couldn’t resist sharing as it ties in with your post:


    • Brilliant! Thanks for that, e3h.

      “Who’s His son?”
      “He is His own son.”


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