Turtle Rape Shoe!!!

via filmdrunk

And I thought I needed a girlfriend bad… Poor little bastard.

-BR

Honkies Need Not Apply

Saw this on Craigslist today and it made me ‘wat?’

We have a 36 page Hip Hop Magazine in need of a Black or Brown HIP HOP Print Magazine Layout Designer. We need someone who is HIP HOP, not like’s but is actually the Culture of HIPHOP. We need someone supa gifted and talented. Someone who like graffiti, has a passion for art and if they were provided articles they would NOT be challenged to get images, copy, graphics, fonts etc for it. We need someone who is street and know what the street, hip hop urban community will want to see. We need 2 issues done back to back. We need someone independent, reliable, creative as hell and someone who is ready to get started as soon as possible. Must be profficent in Adobe, C3, Illustrator etc.

RF and I are going to start a country magazine and request that ‘only shit-kickin’ country boys with late model, jacked up Ford F-250’s (diesel preferred) apply.’

What’s the worst that can happen?

-BR

Great Tagline, or Greatest Tagline?

‘He was dead… But he got better.’ Shit is SO cash.

-BR

Inb4 404!

An artist’s rendering of RF Interference in his old age.

-BR

The Greatest Red-Band Trailer You’ll Ever See

“Fucking Chelios!”

Theatrical trailer:

I loved the first Crank. It was so insane. You couldn’t help but appreciate the balls the filmmakers had to just say ‘Fuck it. It is what it is.’ Kudos to them for getting a sequel greenlit.

Crank was lucky in that it was an R-rated niche film that actually turned a profit. It wasn’t a film for skeptics expecting a realistic ride. Those people would have been screaming ‘Bullshit!’ 30 seconds into the movie. No, this was a movie for people who could actually suspend their disbelief. Straight up disconnect and allow themselves to trip fucking balls for 90 minutes while living vicariously through our hero’s dilemma.

At its core, Crank was an unabashedly violent and over-the-top chase/revenge film shot on a shoestring budget. What’s not to love? This wasn’t your typical $60 million dollar action film starting Jet Li or DMX or whatever rapper happened to be famous that month crapfest. Crank was like abstract action art. True Gorilla -style, throw some paint at the canvas and see what sticks filmmaking.

Also, I have to say that on a personal level, Jason Statham (AKA: The Truth), has been a hero of mine since like, 2005. Dude is like the Jean Claude Van Damme of our time, except he’s British… and he makes better movies… and Super Bowl ads… and he doesn’t do nearly as much coke as JCVD did and fucked up his career because he was insane… I could go on, but I won’t.

Advantage: Stath.

-BR

Cars III: Return of the Cult Sensation

First poast! ZOMG!

‘Sup, doods. Bacon Receiver here. Since I’m the newest addition to the awesomely awkward anarchy that is ‘Capitalist Liontamer’, I had planned to make my first post an epic one. You know, something in the neighborhood of say, 1,800 words… a proper dissertation on the dissension amongst Democrats and Republi-

Fuck it.

Cars III is out, faggots. It’s insane. It’s warped. It’s sublime. And it’s too orgasmic for YouTube.

View it on Vimeo here (password: ’showmecars3′).

Get out your fucking checkbook!

And for the 7 of you out there who somehow remain in the dark about all this, here’s some educational viewing material.

-BR